Wanderlust Circus hits San Francisco - Meeting the Statues

When breakfast started happening we stumbled out and got ready for the day. After a shower I always feel super-better. There was markedly little stunting - a lot of people drank a lot the night before. I didn't; booze is delightfully more and more not my thing. I'm very glad of that.

So, amid the groans, I felt pretty darn good. Also, my wonderful Amanda returned to hang out with all of us. Everyone seemed to like her - though I suppose I only saw her meet and talk with a few folks. I'm lousy at judging other people's interactions, anyway, unless I'm watching closely.

There's always been kind of a rule - if you're dating someone then you can vouch for 'em to be part of the Circus family. At least, if you're placed high enough on the food chain. It really helps if they're helper-people, like Clover. Or if they're super-cute, like Clover.

We all kicked about until finally loading up our gear and bodies into the bus, which was an oven. It turns out that Amanda drives a sexy black Jaguar. I can't figure out what the hell this girl sees in me, honestly. I'm not arm-candy, my haircut was given by Uli in the parking lot on Saturday morning, I'm flat broke, and I can't dance. Seems like a California hottie driving a Jaguar would drive right past, right? Maybe I'm a ticket to the Circus, or like Dutch says, maybe I'm just that good in bed.

My opinion is that I talk to her like she's not a supermodel - she always blinks when I call her on shit, like she's not used to it. But she responds well to it - a super-attractive trait for me. I've lately dated a lot of girls who aren't at all interested in hearing a damn thing about my insights into what I would describe as their flaws. Few people are - another weird thing about this new culture. I used to spend the bulk of my time interacting with people who were earnestly seeking out their own flaws and striving for self-improvement. But in the big ol' world it's really rare to find anyone interested in another person's criticisms. And why would anyone be? The big ol' world is full of people whose insight is all chock full of ... what do the AA folks call it? Stinkin' thinkin'. Heh.

So, maybe Amanda likes being dealt with beyond her hotness. She seemed to, up in Portland. Or maybe I'm a nice guy and she responds to that. Or maybe we have lots of fun together and she digs the funseeking stuff. Or maybe I'm sexier than I realize. Girls tell me with straight faces that I'm handsome. Amanda did see me a lot in makeup and costume, and people are way, way sexier in makeup and costume.

Doesn't matter. She really digs me and I am glad. The sexy stuff is bonus. Was bonus. Might be bonus again. We might bump into one another again. My fingers are crossed. She's a pretty amazing girl.

So this amazing girl drives me in her hot sports-car to American Steel where the statues hang out. She brought snacks and wine - she doesn't drink. Supercool date.

I suited up in green coveralls and gloves 'cause I fell for the prank that I had to do so. I looked like a big green frog up there, and it was beastly hot. Nobody else who climbed on it had to suit up. It was probably Creature who made me dress up, that bastard.

I shimmied up the statue and tried out the things I'd been so eager to try out. Just positions and locations and relative distances. Trying to get ideas for what we can do on this fella. He's crouchy - there's a picture somewhere I know it.

He's all coated with thick cable that's got wires sticking out. They're sharp and strong and there's no easy way for us to crawl around on the statues. The crew who maintains them can buff them somewhat, but mostly we'll have to build some platforms.

His head is strong - I stood on it. I would love to see Brittany handbalancing up there, or one of us doing a handstand off it to a cradle below. I also wanna do some leaps down to thick padding. But mostly we'll using the platform on the shoulders, and jumping off (and maybe on).

After our exhausting 10-minute exploration of the statue we needed some rest, so we retired to the sunshine out back to stunt. There's a FaceBook picture from that time, yay! I'm holding Amanda, with my gut bulging out. Dutch claims I've a six-pack, but I've yet to see it. Brittanie is in the back, with Jay & Dutch & Tiari to the side.

Russ shared some excellent whiskey and coke, and I felt nicely buzzed for the rest of the evening. Thank you Russell!

Then we split up a bit. Tiari and Brittanie came in Amanda's car with us, and we went shopping. *cringe* I shoulda realized that taking off with 3 girls would mean shopping. It was fun hanging around with them between shopping sprees. :)

We met up with Dutch, Creature, Clover and Andy and hung out on Haight & Ashbury. That was pretty fun, but nothing exceptionally fun happened, really. Just lots of great company and chatting.

We rejoined the bus and waited as folks trickled back from wandering about. I got to make out with Amanda for a few delicious moments. I do like that girl. And she's super-responsive.

Creature decided to change his pants directly in front of Clover's car. She wasn't about to let that opportunity slip past, so she flicked on her lights to spotlight him. A minor funny moment, but memorable nonetheless.

Then it was time to bid adieu to my dream-date. Amanda had to take off. I hope to see her again, but part of her magical charm is that she's temporary. I think she'd be serious trouble if she were nearby.

We piled on the bus and headed out. A friend of Creature's had offered to give us a big meal and party, and we indulged in both. It was a great place, and some of our hosts friends came to party, too. They drank a lot (as did we) and some of them got kinda surly (as we did not). I missed most of that, thank heavens. I was chatting with various people all about, and drinking a bit.

At around midnight the bus loaded everyone up except me, Clover, Andy and Brittanie. We were the occupants of Susie-Q for the ride home. Brittanie and I crashed in a bed, and then a hide-a-bed a little later. We slept like the dead, waking at 4:00 to roll out for Portland.

Wanderlust Circus hits San Francisco - The Afterparty

I was bummed about Amanda leaving, but I was heady from the rush of being a circus acrobat and then dancing a bunch with a hottie. More importantly, I was with people I care for and trust. My circus family. Clover & Andy were staying at a different place again, sadly. But the rest of us were there, though a few folks crashed early.

A bunch of folk were drinking, including the fulla-fun AWOL girls (excluding Alysia, who doesn't drink or do anything bad except occasionally kiss a boy or perhaps think a swear-word now & then.) Miranda was all stunt-happy, but a little too inebriated for her body to cash the checks her mouth was writin'. Brittany jumped up, though, and did the afore-mentioned Butterfly wall-walk. So did Miranda. I think. I was pretty sleepy and wiped out by then. I'm reasonably sure that Doc and I did an extension, and I might've flown a shortlived angel on Dutch. But that mighta been in the AM.

I posted on FaceBook a time or two, at some point. I wish we had more pictures to help record the memories. :( One more reason to miss Joey. That trip would've been at least as wonderful with Joey. Unless she was drinking. Then it woulda probably been nightmarish. I gotta quit playing the "What if I hadn't" and the "What if she'd quit prior" game. It's been tearing at me enough lately, I think.

We did some stunting that's starting to trickle onto FaceBook. :) We built a 3-dog-stack with Dutch on top. Russ and I double-based Dutch. I extended Doc.

Temple realized that I'd love to utilize his rigging, so he began setting up for some harness-supported stunting. Superyay! But it didn't ever flower to fruition, sadly. Miranda was the gung-ho flier but she wasn't feeling very well by then. So things began to slowly wind down, with several of the single fellas congregating around the girls present. I just wanted to crash, so I followed the A-WOL party duo into the dark, relatively quiet bedroom, where they were giggling drunkenly. I just sat back and chuckled along with them for quite a while - that's when I was chastised for writing such long updates to FB. For some reason they found it HIlarious that I made a bowl of food to eat before I retired for bed. They were a riot.

As I ducked into the bedroom with the two giggling drunk aerialist girls I got one thumbs-up and one lecherous grin from two of the single guys. I wanted to try to address that but instead I just told the girls and we laughed about it. Nobody actually said anything about it at all, except Dutch, bless his heart for crediting me with that kinda potential. He thinks I'm sexier than I am, IMO. I may think the same of him, I dunno, but I've seen him jumped on by way more cuteys than I've been jumped on by.

Eventually the ladies went to sleep, and so did Miranda & Brittanie, followed shortly thereafter by me. Yay for sleep at last!

Brittanie is one of the volunteers for various Wanderlust shows. Miranda forbid me from hitting on her 'cause Cookie wanted exclusive rights. *snort* I agreed, though. Which was good, 'cause Brittanie digs me tons as a friend but has no interest in me as a guy. Up until this point I just knew her as Wanderlust Hottie Who May Be Dating Someone. (She wasn't; that's just an easily mistaken impression amongst our crew.)

Anyway, at this point I barely knew Brittanie. She was "Miranda's date" more or less.

So, we slept for a few hours. Like 4 or 6 - some nice biggish number. It was hot in there, with 5 people in a small room.

Circus & Relationship let-down blues

So, breaking up with Joey was tough and painful 'cause I deserved it and I hurt her. But then I had lots of busy-ness going on with working for Creature, stunting a ton, and prepping for the San Francisco trip. Facebook is a reminder of the painfulness - pictures of Joey and comments from Joey. But part of my busy-ness included no real online access. So, I was mostly distracted.

Now I'm back into the normal, boring old groove of my life. And now I'm missing Joey a lot, as well as missing the distraction & fun & emotional balm of circus camaraderie.

Despite that, I never quite find myself wishing that Joey and I were still together, somehow. I'm not 100% sure why that is, especially since she stopped drinking and that was one of the biggest challenges I had in our relationship.

I do keep finding myself wishing I'd just broken things off instead of stepping out and betraying the relationship. :( That really eats at me. Dutch and Sara are great at reminding me of that, which I appreciate. I don't want a free pass, or to be distracted instead of hurting. I want to shoulder the consequences of my choice and be impacted by them.

In San Francisco I got lots of snuggling and fun. Amanda came out to see me, and she had clearly designated herself as my arm-candy. Very friendly, dancing with me, always standing next to me - it was wonderful. But Dutch's "No Action for Two Weeks" decree weighed on me. It turns out that Amanda wasn't there to sleep with me, anyway - she was just arm-candy. I'm not gonna claim 100% satisfaction with that... but all things considered I'm really glad it worked out that way. Sex with guilt attached wouldn't have been good. There was enough guilt about just the cuddly stuff & kissy stuff.

It was also nice to be attached. There were a bunch of hungry-eyed ladies at the show, and they were smiling at us Kazum boys like panthers eyeing a couple of plump bunny rabbits. I don't want to experience rock-star style casual hookups with hot babes. It freaks me out. I like people way more than I like flesh, and casual hookups are about flesh way more than they're about people.

Getting to know Jess & Brandy & Brittanie was super fun. Again, there wasn't any romantic pressure there - none of 'em are at all interested in me for whatever reason, so I can relax and just hang out with them. Yay! The AWOL girls were crazy fun. Spending the car ride back with Brittanie was also way fun. She was raised Mormon, and it's tough to see her as a hot girl now. At the same time, she's super attractive to me - I understand Mormon girls, very much, and I really bond well with them. That makes me (mostly) glad that she's too young for me and uninterested in me, to boot.

Lulu was really friendly at the show, as well. She's been friendly in the past, and I always seem to have a relationship or a date at the time. Lame. I'd love to kiss Lulu. Even more, though, I'd love to hang out with her and get to know her. I only ever see her at big festive parties and afterparties.

I also love hanging out with Anna. Again, she's not at all interested in me for whatever reason, and that leaves us free to snuggle and cuddle and hang out without any romantic pressures. :) She's another girl that would be big trouble if she liked me.

Adrienne is another matter. She used to go on at length about how much she wanted to be my lover, but since reconnecting with her after breaking up with Joey, she's not been at all romantically forward. Maybe it's just Dutch's hostile "Two Weeks!" energy. But it's for the best, I think... as Dutch would say, I don't deserve rebound action. And, painfully, I agree with him.

But I've been dating someone or other for the last year or so, and I'm into my 2nd week without any lovin's. It's difficult. And that's okay. If I strive to be honest with myself, that's even excellent. Just tough.

This somehow turned into a "list the girls I'm crushing on" kind of post. Lame.

Back to the circus. :)

I wanna be on the Wanderbus more in the future. The car is great! But it's just got less people to get to know. I did enjoy reciting my entire repertoire of poems while driving through northern California in the early AM. Everyone else was asleep (though Andy caught some of it) which lets me just relax and not be nervous about soliloquizing. I'm oddly shy for someone who's so often spammy and powerfully extroverted.

Playing drinking games with Dutch and Uli and the AWOL ladies was spectacular. I didn't spend much time with my all-time favorite AWOL girl on this trip, sadly - Alysia was usually doing things where I wasn't. :( But she was quite adequately entertained, as was I, and I sure hope that we'll resume our hanging-out patterns now again despite the interference of a certain Kazumite who's started monopolizing her time. :)

I didn't spend much time with Uli or Miranda, either. On Kazum-only tours we get way more time together. I can't wait for more of that. I love those girls very much.

Brittany Walsh is a stunt-goddess! She also doesn't know how to say "no". Pretty much the perfect girl for me. Off-limits, super-stunty, no inhibitions about stunting. Right on.

I feel bad, as though I stole Kae's dream girl. Amanda came for me, and was there to be my date, but both Temple and Kae were crushing on her pretty hard (and who wouldn't be, good heavens).

I really need to blog out a chronological order of events for this trip, for my own memory if nothing else. And... Clover just called and I need to go pick up my bike. So, this is the end of this disjointed ramble.

I miss Zac. *sigh* And Alex. Why can't they both live close by again? I haven't had a best friend for months, now.