Wanderlust Circus hits San Francisco - Day of the Show
I got up and helped Ben the supercook make superbreakfast. Dutch helped a bit, too, more or less offsetting the bacon he kept snitching. Miranda did dishes, as did Noah. Dunno why I feel like calling out props, but it's important that helping hands are noticed and appreciated.
We stunted around and relaxed and showered and got ready for a show. Then we piled back into the Wanderbus and Susie-Q, and drove across the Bay Bridge. Breathtaking. I was trying to paint my nails black & white, and the view kept drying stuff up. My rough paintjob now reminds me of San Francisco's Bay Bridge. Aw.
The venue was freakin' sweet. The stage was *almost* adequate, but Creature did his magic and up went an extension. Then it was simply a little too shallow, but we more or less coped. But headspace we had, and good visibility to the crowd. Plus, the green room was on a balcony behind the stage, over a cool arched bridge that *screamed* out for handstands. It got 'em, too. I saw to that bridge.
The aerialists had 4 different mounts, including a pulley that the local circus crew used (with Dutch's ballast) to raise and lower Brandy and Jess during their routine. It was super-cool.
Brandy and Jess
These girls get a big shout out. They're supercool. I think that they finally got comfortable that the Kazum guys weren't trying to get in their pants like the rest of the male and pro-lady female population of the planet.
That's good; it gives us an edge. ;)
But we're not *aggressively* trying to bed them, so they relaxed and hung out. Stunting, joking, bickering, taunting the spamminess of... all kinds of stuff. Man, if those two ever saw this blog they'd flip out. A single paragraph of internet was too much. This old-school text-based communication thing is just way too wordy... and that's pre-Scott. Once I get done with it it hardly resembles words at all. Just big chunky blocks of nearly-random text.
So, Brandy is 5-ninish until she gets into the air and then her legs grow longer. She's amazing to watch. I consciously didn't, in fact. I don't like ogling. Jess I can watch; she's a little sister, I think. Brandy's just too fun to watch, for me.
I *love* watching people watching a show, by the way. Crowd watching is a riot. And when Brandy does her thing, the crowd's eyes and expressions are delightful to behold. Jess is gorgeous up there. The two of them are amazing together. The applause after their silk routine was thunderous. They, more than anyone, sold Wanderlust to S.F.
And then they danced like crazy. :)
But I'm jumping way ahead. First there was stretching and blocking the routine and rigging and hanging out for 5 or 6 hours until showtime. It was way fun. My shirt was discovered to be undiscoverable, so Alysia donned her Superhero Seamstress hat and built me a shirt from scraps. It was wonderful.
I went for a walk to explore S.F. but I got distracted by a marching band. M4 rolled up and I chatted with them as they disembarked.
Then things got loud. Sound check, talking, stretching s'more. M4 rolled out after an hour or two; they had another tiny gig and supper before the big show after ours. Here's a shot of that scene.
My focus up to then was on circus stuff, mostly - making sure we were moving along and good to go. And then Amanda arrived.
Amanda
She featured in a previous blog post. She's amazing, and when she gets fancied up she's one of the hottest little critters I've ever seen. She was my date for the show, which spins off into a whole guilt thing...
Dutch is very right that I don't deserve a dream date with a sexy girl just a week and a half from cheating on my girlfriend. He proscribed an arbitrary 2 weeks. I think that's kinda silly; 2 weeks isn't gonna atone for anything. But it is an actual cost, and a consequence, and something I shouldn't dodge. So I agree with him.
And then there's Amanda. *sigh*
I'd love to claim that I nobly refrained, but that isn't so. Instead, I got a super date that went home without me at the end for other reasons that had nothing to do with me or my recent bastardliness. So, in all the most important ways, things worked out really well.
Kazum did a full run-through that was not only choppy, but peppered with drops. Not terrifying... but still scary. Despite that, I think we all felt ready for the show. We were the first act.
It was choppy. Not terribly so... and we're all really good at pulling choppiness together. I love all of us so much! I saw James & Doc drop some stuff that had to hurt. The Ass Catch was at 95% power plus adrenaline, and I nearly ran out of stage to catch it in. But we got it. The extension stuck up there like a porn star, and the Triple Base cradled despite my fear that it was a goner. Somehow the Candelabra looked more or less complete, though it *felt* like it was holding together by fingernails, prayers and mantras. Adrenaline beat exhaustion, but heat exhaustion was a serious contender for the evening's competitions. I staggered offstage, forgetting that I was supposed to lift Jess up to Brandy, beelining for the back room that was delightfully chilly. I was actually starting to grey out a bit - so hot under spotlights doing high-intensity stunting with too many pounds of leftover computer nerd on me. Dutch felt every steak & cheeseburger he's eaten for a week, I'm sure. We're big fellas, we are.
I mingled a bit prior to Lions. I had a breathtaking date down there. I liked watching her dance from the balcony, but I also liked her dancing around me and beside me. There were many people to see, though, and stunts to be thrown.
Lulu was there! I love seeing her. But it's always at some crazy event, and I always have someone who's there with me. I'd love to try to kiss that girl at some point. I don't usually; most girls have to make a pass at me before I trust that they're interested. But I feel brave enough to take a chance with Lulu. Yum.
There was stunting in the smoking lounge, in back. There was much laughter and talk and hugging of good friends. It was a crazy fun party.
Lions went well. We were putting our hearts into being leonine. But the crowd couldn't really see us very well; the stage was a little bit too low to showcase Lions well. It felt like it went well, though - we got mad cheers for the final agonizing portion of the triple crab twist. I'm glad; that 3 seconds is always the most painful of any show. I think I flipped rather than handspringing 'cause the stage felt crowded, but that's fine.
The Kazum guys were ogled like we were made of chocolate. I wouldn't have believed it but I saw the girls looking at Doc & Dutch, so I suppose they were looking at me as well. It was scary. I was glad that I had a date. I felt that way once at the Roller Derby girls' party, too.
I had the most amazing night, and Amanda was often at my side. We danced a lot, and I've never danced before, really. It was more grinding than dancing, I think, but it was dancelike. I danced with Creature, and with Creature & Amanda, and it was pretty magical. I wasn't on drugs or anything. But I don't think I could've danced with anyone other than those particular two. Serendipity.
The crowd cleared out, and finally so did Amanda. *sigh* We all returned to Temple's place for The Afterparty.
We stunted around and relaxed and showered and got ready for a show. Then we piled back into the Wanderbus and Susie-Q, and drove across the Bay Bridge. Breathtaking. I was trying to paint my nails black & white, and the view kept drying stuff up. My rough paintjob now reminds me of San Francisco's Bay Bridge. Aw.
The venue was freakin' sweet. The stage was *almost* adequate, but Creature did his magic and up went an extension. Then it was simply a little too shallow, but we more or less coped. But headspace we had, and good visibility to the crowd. Plus, the green room was on a balcony behind the stage, over a cool arched bridge that *screamed* out for handstands. It got 'em, too. I saw to that bridge.
The aerialists had 4 different mounts, including a pulley that the local circus crew used (with Dutch's ballast) to raise and lower Brandy and Jess during their routine. It was super-cool.
Brandy and Jess
These girls get a big shout out. They're supercool. I think that they finally got comfortable that the Kazum guys weren't trying to get in their pants like the rest of the male and pro-lady female population of the planet.
That's good; it gives us an edge. ;)
But we're not *aggressively* trying to bed them, so they relaxed and hung out. Stunting, joking, bickering, taunting the spamminess of... all kinds of stuff. Man, if those two ever saw this blog they'd flip out. A single paragraph of internet was too much. This old-school text-based communication thing is just way too wordy... and that's pre-Scott. Once I get done with it it hardly resembles words at all. Just big chunky blocks of nearly-random text.
So, Brandy is 5-ninish until she gets into the air and then her legs grow longer. She's amazing to watch. I consciously didn't, in fact. I don't like ogling. Jess I can watch; she's a little sister, I think. Brandy's just too fun to watch, for me.
I *love* watching people watching a show, by the way. Crowd watching is a riot. And when Brandy does her thing, the crowd's eyes and expressions are delightful to behold. Jess is gorgeous up there. The two of them are amazing together. The applause after their silk routine was thunderous. They, more than anyone, sold Wanderlust to S.F.
And then they danced like crazy. :)
But I'm jumping way ahead. First there was stretching and blocking the routine and rigging and hanging out for 5 or 6 hours until showtime. It was way fun. My shirt was discovered to be undiscoverable, so Alysia donned her Superhero Seamstress hat and built me a shirt from scraps. It was wonderful.
I went for a walk to explore S.F. but I got distracted by a marching band. M4 rolled up and I chatted with them as they disembarked.
Then things got loud. Sound check, talking, stretching s'more. M4 rolled out after an hour or two; they had another tiny gig and supper before the big show after ours. Here's a shot of that scene.
My focus up to then was on circus stuff, mostly - making sure we were moving along and good to go. And then Amanda arrived.
Amanda
She featured in a previous blog post. She's amazing, and when she gets fancied up she's one of the hottest little critters I've ever seen. She was my date for the show, which spins off into a whole guilt thing...
Dutch is very right that I don't deserve a dream date with a sexy girl just a week and a half from cheating on my girlfriend. He proscribed an arbitrary 2 weeks. I think that's kinda silly; 2 weeks isn't gonna atone for anything. But it is an actual cost, and a consequence, and something I shouldn't dodge. So I agree with him.
And then there's Amanda. *sigh*
I'd love to claim that I nobly refrained, but that isn't so. Instead, I got a super date that went home without me at the end for other reasons that had nothing to do with me or my recent bastardliness. So, in all the most important ways, things worked out really well.
Kazum did a full run-through that was not only choppy, but peppered with drops. Not terrifying... but still scary. Despite that, I think we all felt ready for the show. We were the first act.
It was choppy. Not terribly so... and we're all really good at pulling choppiness together. I love all of us so much! I saw James & Doc drop some stuff that had to hurt. The Ass Catch was at 95% power plus adrenaline, and I nearly ran out of stage to catch it in. But we got it. The extension stuck up there like a porn star, and the Triple Base cradled despite my fear that it was a goner. Somehow the Candelabra looked more or less complete, though it *felt* like it was holding together by fingernails, prayers and mantras. Adrenaline beat exhaustion, but heat exhaustion was a serious contender for the evening's competitions. I staggered offstage, forgetting that I was supposed to lift Jess up to Brandy, beelining for the back room that was delightfully chilly. I was actually starting to grey out a bit - so hot under spotlights doing high-intensity stunting with too many pounds of leftover computer nerd on me. Dutch felt every steak & cheeseburger he's eaten for a week, I'm sure. We're big fellas, we are.
I mingled a bit prior to Lions. I had a breathtaking date down there. I liked watching her dance from the balcony, but I also liked her dancing around me and beside me. There were many people to see, though, and stunts to be thrown.
Lulu was there! I love seeing her. But it's always at some crazy event, and I always have someone who's there with me. I'd love to try to kiss that girl at some point. I don't usually; most girls have to make a pass at me before I trust that they're interested. But I feel brave enough to take a chance with Lulu. Yum.
There was stunting in the smoking lounge, in back. There was much laughter and talk and hugging of good friends. It was a crazy fun party.
Lions went well. We were putting our hearts into being leonine. But the crowd couldn't really see us very well; the stage was a little bit too low to showcase Lions well. It felt like it went well, though - we got mad cheers for the final agonizing portion of the triple crab twist. I'm glad; that 3 seconds is always the most painful of any show. I think I flipped rather than handspringing 'cause the stage felt crowded, but that's fine.
The Kazum guys were ogled like we were made of chocolate. I wouldn't have believed it but I saw the girls looking at Doc & Dutch, so I suppose they were looking at me as well. It was scary. I was glad that I had a date. I felt that way once at the Roller Derby girls' party, too.
I had the most amazing night, and Amanda was often at my side. We danced a lot, and I've never danced before, really. It was more grinding than dancing, I think, but it was dancelike. I danced with Creature, and with Creature & Amanda, and it was pretty magical. I wasn't on drugs or anything. But I don't think I could've danced with anyone other than those particular two. Serendipity.
The crowd cleared out, and finally so did Amanda. *sigh* We all returned to Temple's place for The Afterparty.
Labels: Alysia, Amanda, Bay Bridge, Ben, Brandy, Creature, Doc, dutch, James, Jess, Lulu, March Fourth, Miranda, Noah, San Francisco, Susie-Q, Wanderlust
7 Comments:
When I read your blog this is all I get is "Blah blah Kazum, blah blah Ima douche, blah blah, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, I can't get any booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty, booty."
Get your head on straight and your life a little less fucked up before you go and break any more women's hearts, they all deserve better than YOU!
Yup. That's what I blog about, mostly. I could talk about it a lot instead. I probably kinda do. Still, I'd rather not be too visibly caught up in the stuff I work through via blogging.
I agree with the gist of feedback, though, and I 'preciate it. Straightening and unfuckuping before serious relationships again, for sure.
you have serious relationships (like with your kids), and you need straighten up and unfuckup now so as not to hurt anyone in your life (even if you remain a hermit) because there is one serious relationship you'll never lose (one with yourself).
so go be more mormon already.
For the record, I'm not Anonymous...I would have used much larger words and a more complex sentence structure. Also, I'd have signed my name.
But they're totally right. You're not using this blog to work through your issues, you're using it to enable feeding them. In all the blogging you've done in the last few days, there's not one sentence about one woman that wasn't written with the goal of increasing your chances of fucking them.
You ought to stop that. You're hurting people.
Hm. It's sort of a sex blog. 'Cept it's not about sex so much as the issues surrounding it.
I can't find options on my own for how to unfuckup. A stable income and place to live are probably the foundation of any real improvements there. I could potentially revert my lifestyle back from Circus Acrobat to Reporting Analyst, but I think I'd rather just move away and be homeless somewhere instead. Drink alot. Hide and escape. My life while being a Straight Boring guy was hellish, though that had nothing to do with work or responsibilities.
Anyway, I'm seeking to keep the Circus, and that realistically combats me being more Mormon.
If I wanted to fuck more women I'd be doing so. My chances are extremely good; I don't really need to increase them. I'm working through *not* fucking more women. It probably looks a lot more like I'm trying to, since I certainly *want* to - but trying to less of what I want and more of what I ought is pretty much the foundation of religiosity, ain't it? And that part I hold on to in the raging waves of hedonism.
I think I'm gonna take a month rather than Dutch's 2 weeks. But then, despite some apparent concern that I'm gonna go break lots of women apart, I'll re-enter the dating game but without long-term tendencies. I'll see how that works out. I'll minimize the likelihood of hurting ladies by being clear from the get-go that I'm not implying any kind of monogamous fidelity. I'll watch carefully in case she seems in danger of being hurt anyway.
Maybe this won't work. But I believe in it more than "be Mormon again" or "stop wanting sex with anyone but a monogamous partner." Both are great options, and I've spent years and years on 'em! I plan to return to 'em some day.
But today I'm in the limelight and it's pretty fun. I'm gonna keep living the dream for a while, and do my best not to hurt anyone else while doing it.
I've hurt Joey, though I still believe I've hurt her a lot less personally than it would've to go the tough route to ending things. Our relationship was hurting Sascha, though, and I'm sure he's seen a lot more of his regular mother since she stopped dating me. I'd guess he's probably glad I'm gone, though I also think he really liked me. I sure like him.
Anyway, I don't know which people I'm hurting other than Joey. I'm pretty sure I'm a positive force in the lives of all my Circus family, and my students and co-workers, and my kids.
More Mormon. No need to be a zealot about it. And I think you're concern over woman is mis-guided. Yeah you were a dick to joey, so don't be stupid like that ("I still believe I've hurt her a lot less personally than it would've to go the tough route to ending things". I don't know enough to judge this, but it just sounds wrong.).
But you don't have a job or a place to live. I think you would be a much greater positive influence in the world if you had both. Your concern should be over yourself living a good life.
Don't give up the circus, but I think right now it is getting in the way of allowing you to support yourself.
I've seen you be both a reporting analyst and an acrobat. No reason why you can't do that again. Maybe you want to support yourself and your family as an acrobat and a coach. Thats really tough, but you can do it (Stefan, Reese Thomas, Aaron & Wendy). But it requires putting in way more work than what you're currently doing. Are you even making money with Kazum?
You have other skills that I believe are more marketable (which means you can spend less hours on them, and make more money). So don't give up the circus. But its not just the circus you want. Its the "fun seeking" lifestyle. The parties, the drugs, the late nights.
I don't feel like I'm around enough to help you find ways to unfuck yourself. But you have a lot of friends who love you, and if you think you should unfuck, I'm sure there are those that will help.
Hey Zac. :)
> But you don't have a job or a place to live.
I think I've given the wrong impression, here.
I have several jobs. I work about 15 hours at Rose City each week. 65% of it goes to garnishing for Child Support, though, so I only actually see around $200 a month.
I work for my rent, at my place. I have a room in a house, plus garage storage space for my stuff. It's in Clackamas, which is far away and requires a MAX pass to get there and back, plus the MAX stops at 11:30. So I often don't go out there.
> Your concern should be over yourself living a good life.
Heh - that's not being more Mormon. ;)
I've lived with the goal of giving myself a good life. I don't like it. I am happier being poor and doing things I love, instead of working 40 hours a week and having adequate money. The things money buys aren't of much worth to me, other than stability.
> I've seen you be both a reporting analyst and an acrobat. No reason why you can't do that again.
The big reason is that I'm not a reporting analyst anymore. ;) I looked really hard for 3 months for more techie-type work. It ain't out there anymore. It's all gobbled up by other techies.
Kazum doesn't pay, no. We occasionally get a dribble, but I spend more in babysitting money and getting to and from gigs than Kazum ever pays. I don't think Kazum ever will pay; we're just too many people and we just can't seem to nail down regular gigs. *shrug* I think I'm ready to accept Kazum as just a hobby.
But the teaching & coaching outside of Kazum, yes, that pays.
> But its not just the circus you want. Its the "fun seeking" lifestyle. The parties, the drugs, the late nights.
They're all the same - circus is those things. Mostly, though, it's the people. I love my circus family very much. I'm a very societal person. I grew up in a very tightly-knit society and now I'm in a loosely-knit society with many of the same persk. I love it.
> I don't feel like I'm around enough to help you find ways to unfuck yourself. But you have a lot of friends who love you, and if you think you should unfuck, I'm sure there are those that will help.
This is true. Many of them are helping, too. Jem, Andy, Dutch, Clover. I've got excellent peeps. :)
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