My Buddy's Lesbian Roommate

Alex is the newest male member of my performing group, Kazum. From the first day I met him we had a bond, and it's only gotten stronger. He's probably my closest friend, after only a month or two of knowing each other. That's pretty amazing.

His roommate is a girl named Gaelen. She's primarily lesbian, though Alex has been giving her some well-deserved flak for dating a disproportionate number of guys lately. I met her a few weeks ago when I went over with Jarom & Aaron to play board games. She responded to me as I would expect a stylish and independant young lesbian to respond: polite but totally uninterested in getting to be friends. She didn't find me repulsive exactly... but she had no attraction whatsoever. She's striking and beautiful, but totally not my type. Short bleached hair, makeup that's dark enough to hint at Goth... very much a lesbian image.

Alex introduced her as "The Golden Vagina". Apparently the guys & girls she spends the night with all seem to fall hopelessly into infatuation with her.

She's pretty much Alex's younger sister. They met 10 years ago when she was 14 and he was 17. They grew up in the same tiny inbred southern Oregon town. They've been close friends ever since, with never the slightest hint of romantic attraction. They joke and banter and have a great relationship that reminds me a lot of siblings. Since Alex obviously vouched strongly for both of us, we were plenty friendly but there was just no interest in hanging out at all. And that was Gaelen.

Over the last few weeks I've gone over there a few times to play board games with Alex and various pals. Gaelen's sometimes there, and we get to say hi and stuff, but that's about it. Still, it was cool to get comfortable. At one point I said something like, "You're never going to be attracted to me, right? I can just let that go and not worry about it?" She was very earnest and clear in assuring me that I was correct. It was great; since then I've been her buddy and I can ignore that she's very pretty and she has girlparts.

I went over last week sometime with Tasha (my sis) and Jarom (her hubby) and Aaron (their roommate) and Zane (their other roommate who's moving out soon). We cajoled Gaelen into playing board games with us, and we all had a really great time. I ended up playing guitar & singing a bit, and Gaelen played & sang a bit as well. She's a professional-level singer. Her voice is absolutely astounding. I was utterly blown away. I made her play & sing for Tasha and the others as well, and we were all really impressed. Aaron and Tasha really dug her. Tasha and I took some time to remark that we both found ourselves wanting her to sing her sultry crooning yearning song to me (meaning we both found her singing to be very tempting even though we both knew she wasn't into either of us.)

Over the Thanksgiving holiday there was an event going on that all 3 of us were invited to, by Uli (one of the 2 Kazum girls). Alex and I were down, but Gaelen was nervous 'cause she only knew the two of us. So she said that she'd only go if we were both going. It was a few days later, but I was tickled pink. I knew she didn't see me as attractive; she was just comfortable with me and liked me. That was a great compliment and I loved it.

And then she threw me a curve-ball. She sent me a text... here, I've kept it. I doubt I'll ever erase it: "11/28/08 04:14 AM The more you're around, the more I find you mildly attractive. Im telling you this just because I know it will drive you nuts. Don't tell alex. He'll surely slap me. Goodnight, love."

Awww! :)

I checked in with Alex to see if maybe she liked me a little. He looked at me as though I'd asked him if maybe he'd like to put his testicles into boiling water. He assured me with great conviction that she was just friendly, and I took him at his word.

I invited her and Alex to come hang out on Thursday night (the night of Turkey Day). Alex couldn't 'cause he had modeling to do early in the morning. But Gaelen said, "What the heck, sure. I'm your pal, too." She came over and we all played Rock Band... me, Jarom, Aaron, and Jed (my oldest; 15). It was a blast, and Gaelen blew us all away with her vocal skills. That girl has got a golden voice.

After the Rock Band fun, I suggested doing another AirSoft hunting excursion. Did I blog about that? Jed & Aaron & Zane & I all dressed in black and took AirSoft guns into the nearby nature park, where we proceeded to hunt one another to extinction. FUN! I was itching to go out again, as was Aaron, but Jarom & Gaelen weren't into that. And Jed was tired so he went to bed.

So, Aeron and Gaelen and I went for a walk through the nature park at midnight, instead. It was really fun. Gaelen sidled up to me and we walked together, one arm around each other's waist. Awww! It was really neat. And the coolest part was that it wasn't sexual. My 2 years of abstinence really paid off, methinks.

We traipsed here and there, stopping often to talk for long periods. All 3 of us had a relaxed and wonderful time.

As we were on the homeward loop we heard a trickling brook, and Gaelen forged off of the path to investigate. Forging off the path in Oregon is similar to traversing a South American rainforest. But there was a path; the gurgling water had obviously attracted a few other visitors over the summer. We finished up beside the brook, which was pretty darn loud. Fallen trees provided a great vantage point to look down on the water. The moonlight was dim but adequate, and the forest was dark and mysterious and full of life... although it was all suspended due to our presence.

It was the perfect setting for a first kiss, and while my shyness is crippling when I ain't sure, I was pretty confident that a romantic overture would be well received.

You know the feeling you get when you first lean slowly in to kiss someone and they meet you and the rest of the world swirls away like watercolor paints in a bathtub drain? Ah, that wonderful feeling. There's just nothing quite like it in the whole world. It's one of my favorite emotions. The kiss was tender and sweet, but quite heated just below the surface. I'm pretty sure that my hair stood on end a little, and our bodies pressed closer. It was one of those kisses that makes time seem like an abstract concept. And it was one of those kisses that leaves you satisfied and peaceful and happy. I hate to be so bold as to call it the perfect first kiss, but it beats the damn stuffing out of a kiss in a movie theater or the back seat of a car. It's the most romantic and giddy first kiss I myself have ever experienced.

Edit: I've added a more detailed account of our First Kiss.

We moseyed back to my place, and I bid Gaelen a warm farewell. I don't think I hugged her... I was vaguely conscious of the societal pressure of the "how to end the first date" situation, and I didn't want her to feel like I was trying to bed her, seduce her into romance, or anything like that. She went home, I went to sleep, and the memories were crystallized.

It was a great evening. One of the best I've ever had.

I kissed a girl

I had a spectacular birthday 2 weeks ago. My older two sons came to visit. I performed last night. And, as the Title indicates, I kissed a girl for the first time in 2 years. Sweetness.

It was a pretty normal, boring day up until the evening. Lots of people on iHeart wished me happy birthday. Even though it's an easy thing to do, it still brings warm fuzzy feelings and I appreciate it.

Last night's venue was one I'd performed at before: the Someday Lounge in downtown Portland. It's a bar that's dedicated half of their dance floor to a solid, permanent stage. Best of all, they have ceilings high enough for 2-and-a-half-high stunting. We couldn't basket-toss, but that's okay; only out most showy routines include basket-tosses.

Since Kazum just replaced 2 guys and 1 girl, the only routine that's performance-ready is "All About Love," which is a snappy little number that Uli and I choreographed a few months back. It's just the two of us, which is a little dissapointing, but it's chock-full of stunty fun. The warm-ups were a little scary; they had side-lighting that blinded us on a few of our stunts. But we worked around it and got all ready.

Also, a co-worker came to the show and I was all kinds of excited about that. He's a great guy and I was glad he finally got to see what I do.

So before the show I was outside cooling off after a backstage practice run-through. A girl on a bike noticed me and stopped, asking, "Hey, aren't you a gymnast?" I'm actually not... but what people mean when they ask that is, "Don't you perform flippy-type things?" It turns out that she is friends with a girl who used to be roommates with one of the guys in the group. At a performance a few months back she was really friendly and I think she was hitting on me back then. And it certainly seemed as though she was interested last night. I invited her to the show and put her name on the guest list, and we talked for a bit.

The performance went well in some ways and not so well in others. All of the stunts hit, and they hit sharply. That's awesome! Nobody was hurt - again with the awesome. But my performance felt lackluster. Plus, they didn't announce us... they just told us to start after the 10-minute intermission. Half the audience was outside smoking/talking/cooling off, or at the bar. That's sucky.

Those who saw it offered the appropriate props. I can never tell what percentage of the compliments we get are obligatory and what percentage is genuine.

There were a bunch of stilt-walkers as ambiance, and they were all really cool. One of them was a girl I knew from a few different things in the past - Stephanie. She's my dream-girl. I don't know what quality it is that elevates a girl from "person" to "goddess" in my eyes, but she's got it in spades. She's like 19 years old; I'd never actually participate in anything romantic with her. But she's one of the girls who has the power to stop my speech simply by being present. 'Tis awkward. I mostly avoided her.

Anyway, I went out to the bar to get my free birthday drink - Cap'n Morgan Spiced Rum & Coke, yum. My fan was there (her name is Annabel) and she was all excited to see the show. She was really bummed when she found out we'd performed it. She was outside with many other folk and didn't know it had already finished. :( That's okay; she saw it a few months ago. But still, that's why she was there.

We went outside and talked. She's gorgeous, but in a way that isn't really my thing. Exquisite makeup & hair, adorable outfit, all the stuff that our society demands of us before we can be considered sexy or attractive. But that's all a big red flag that she's not gonna be into me at all; I spend zilch effort on image, and I have no interest in style or fashion or in looking the way our culture indicates I should look.

Still, I was all dandied up in makeup and costume, sweaty from performing, so I figured that's about as good as it gets as far as Scott's Image is concerned. And she seemed to concur; she was almost flat-out hitting on me. She was probably confused about why I wasn't reciprocating... I'm just too shy. *sigh*

Anyway, I taught her how to do a cool stunt (a flag) and she was tickled pink. Then we went back inside and hung out for a while. We ended up being alone together and she was still hitting on me and I finally gathered all my courage together and asked her for a birthday kiss. She was very amenable, and neither of us held anything back. It was awesome. We didn't actually make out... the kiss was only 45 seconds or so. But it was certainly more than a quick peck. She complimented me on my kissing (again with the "how much is obligatory and how much is genuine" question) and I thanked her for the birthday gift and we talked a bit more as we returned to the green room where a wild party was in full swing.

I said my goodbyes (my older boys were waiting at home, along with my sister & her roommates). I thanked Annabel again and hugged her goodbye. The poor girl must be all kinds of confused; I didn't do any of the things I'm obligated to do. I didn't ask for her phone number or email address, for example. She's moving back home to New York in a few weeks... which is a big part of why I didn't bolt immediately. I didn't establish any way to contact her; I'm not looking for an actual fling. Plus, I'm pretty sure she'd find me non-attractive if I wasn't costumed and made-up. I suspect that I'm just not her type, and that's fine by me. A kiss is all I wanted.
Well, I coulda lived through a quickie, but that also includes some extra overhead stuff. So a kiss is probably better.

*sigh* I'll keep telling myself that and maybe I'll buy into it eventually.

My buddy from work (Carl) was my ride home and when we were about halfway there I was flattened by a realization. It still leaves my knees trembly and it turns my belly into a butterfly airstrip. I doubt I can communicate it adequately, but I'll try.

One of my favorite memorized poems is "Annabel Lee" by Edgar Allen Poe. The girl I broke my kiss-fasting with was named Annabel. And I utterly failed to recite the poem to her. I am almost certain to never again have that opportunity - to recite a poem to the girl who is named after it. I don't know if she's named after it intentionally of course. I almost made Carl take me back so that I could find her and squirrel her away for a private poetry reading. But my kids were waiting. *sigh*

Anyway, the rest of the night was spent in hilarity and revelry. I played guitar & sang "Always the First to Die" for Carl. (http://www.puremagic.com/~scott/music/always_the_first_to_die.wav - sorry, I know that .wav is a lousy format but I've not bothered to convert it to anything better.) We played Boggle, which we spiced up with much joking and funnery. We decided that Superman can undeniably be described as savey, and my 15-year-old son Jed was clever enough to condense "date-rape" into "dape". Perhaps you had to be there to appreciate the humor in, "Hi, I'm Scott. Have a roofie! Would you like to go out on a dape with me?" But we all laughed in an uproarish manner.

All in all, the evening was pretty much as perfect as it could possibly be without Dutch triplets who were in town for the contortionist lovemaking competition.