Gaelen & me: Dating

So, Gaelen and I have been pretty much 24-7 ever since then. Within a day or two she announced that she loved me... knocked my socks off. Here's why:

See, I wasn't Wookin' Po Nub (as Eddie Murphy says). I was interested in some light dating, preferably without nookie. And I was open to a committed relationship, but I wasn't about to go seeking one. That way lies madness. So when I discovered that Alex's hot little lesbian sister-roommate wanted me in her bed I was thrilled! She'd keep living her libidinous lifestyle, we'd be buddies, and there'd be excellent benefits. Pretty much perfect.

And then she falls for me, and informs me that she's very monogamous when she's in a relationship. That puts me at huge risk of falling for her. That doesn't sound like a terrifying thing. But it is, 'cause she's firmly agnostic and I've got a solid testimony of the LDS gospel. That's not that big of a deal until we have a kid. And at that point it becomes pretty much insurmountable. She has every right in the world to raise her child to not believe in God. And I can't even imagine raising a child without the gospel being present in the child's life. So it's a hard stop unless one of us changes our core belief structure. That's so unlikely it's nearly worth describing as impossible. I suspect that Gaelen would describe it as impossible.

But until our path together hits the marriage-gate I think we've got a great shot at walking closely together. We're really wonderful together in every way, so far. Obviously, a week and a half ain't a whole lotta time. I suspect that there are age differences lurking below the breakers. I think that lifestyle differences could prove tough. But mostly I'm amazed at how much more prepared I am for a serious relationship, compared with prior to marrying Heather. I learned so amazingly much while married to her. I had to. I'm really grateful for that.

She called last night to talk about tomorrow's schedule with the boys. I asked her to make a few minor modifications in the schedule, which is one of her challenges; she "needs" to have things set and solid and under her control. But she handled it wonderfully and gracefully; she's either made some amazing improvements since the divorce, or our relationship was crippling her ability to function. Probably both. I'm so happy about that improvement in her (and my) life. And as I hung up with her I commented to Alex & Gaelen, "I love that woman. I'd totally divorce her again." In retrospect it sounded mean, but I didn't mean it that way. I meant that divorcing her let both of us make leaps in our own progress.

Nothing like going off about the ex-wife while posting about the new relationship. *guilty smile* Poor Gaelen. That girl has to deal with lots. Not only am I a big geeky dork but I pull crap like this all the time.

Okay, so back to journalling. I think it was the second night we spent together that Gaelen said that she loved me. It really knocked me for a loop. When I dated Karen we were both really careful to avoid falling in love. And that was super-smart. Neither of us was in a good place for that. She places the bulk of that unreadiness on me... and she's probably right.

This time, though... I am ready. Things might not work out (which is okay) but it won't be because I wasn't ready.

I returned Gaelen's love and she asked, "Are you sure?" It was a damn good question. I thought about it deeply for a while, prodding and poking at it logically as well as just feeling for the truth of it. And then I realized that of course I was. I was in a perfect place to fall deeply for her. We've both been amazingly direct and blunt and honest. I told her all my horrible past history stuff right away; she's very non-sensitive to most of that so it was pretty easy for her to hear. There just isn't much use in either of us concealing anything at all... though she's remarkably resistant to my communicating with anyone else in her life other than Alex. That actually scares me a bit. But we'll see how it turns out, as I start to meet her people. Unless I don't... and if that happens it'll eventually be a huge red flag.

Heh... the above comment should give us something to talk about. :)

But what really cinched my answer to "Are you sure" is that I realized not only did everything feel right... but I am a smart and sensitive guy who is attracted to Gaelen. Any such person would have to have something seriously wrong with them to not fall for her. Perhaps for the first time ever, the stuff that's seriously wrong with me isn't getting in the way.

I next asked her if she was my girlfriend. She replied, "Soon." She gave a few vague reasons, which was fine... I wasn't pushing; I was just wondering. We've since worked through those things and I officially asked her and she officially agreed. But for a short while I got to introduce her to every one as my girlfriend despite her immediate rebuttal. The best was when I introduced her to Kazum (minus Miranda) and some associated folk.

Scott proudly crows, "This is my girlfriend Gaelen!"
Gaelen curtly and clearly corrects, "I am not your girlfriend. Hello, nice to meet you."

It was awesome. :) But then a few days later we made it official so now I don't get to try to foist her off as my woman anymore, 'cause she actually is. And, that's better, so I'll cope somehow.

We look deeply different, though... someone at work today described her as "fairy-Goth lesbian" which is super-descriptive. I'd describe myself (and Gaelen has backed me up on this) as "creepy old dork". I'm not actually creepy but I come through that way until you get to know me. I'm not actually a dork, either... ouch, that was almost painful to type. That's like me claiming not to be clever, or claiming to be a virgin, or claiming to have fashion sense.

I wrote a ton about my daily routine but I'm gonna post that in another blog entry.