Controversial Issues

I recently got an email from a very close friend of mine. He was referring to something we talked about a few months ago, wherein I explained my viewpoints about religion, gay marriage, free will, and similar issues.

The recent Proposition 8 controversy sparked him to send me an email about these things. It surprised me; he was quoting websites that are militantly against Proposition 8 as well as websites that villainize the LDS Church heavily. I explained my personal viewpoint on stuff, though it was difficult 'cause it felt like he was making a barrage of comments about "the evil blind Christian fool who hates gays" and I have never felt like he saw me as that before. I got the impression that he had been whipped into a frenzy of angst and vitriol by the predominant liberal viewpoint of the 20-something crowd that forms the bulk of his peer group.

That's all simply background; I don't wanna discuss gay marriage or religion right now. I went through months of intense communication about that, years ago, and it was hard enough then. Right now there's so much hatred being flung about on both sides of the issue that it's something I just want to duck and cover from until the smoke begins to clear.

The part that's discussable is how caught up we get in controversial things.

I have felt the pounding pulse, the tunnel-vision, the flushed face, the hastened speech and the raised voice that accompanies something that I feel very emotional about. I know the power of the chemicals that my body releases when my emotions are tumultuous. It's pretty scary stuff.

But the scary part is what happens when 2 or more people get together and agree about controversial issues. When our viewpoint gets echoed back to us, it's strengthened. Keep it up for a few minutes and we're all convinced that we're right. Keep it up for a few hours and we're all convinced that only a fool could possibly disagree with us. Keep it up for a few days and we're edging into a conviction that the hate-filled idiots who disagree with us ought to be shown a thing or two.

Mob mentality happens with surprising stealth. I've participated in group consciousness activities that horrified me deeply in retrospect. As more people joined the mob, the more I found myself divulging from my own ethical and moral outlooks. I began to accept the mob's morality about things that I would never conceive of legitimizing if it was just me.

In the last 2 years I've reveled in my role as the Secret Spy between left- and right-wing viewpoints. I was raised in a culture that's utterly dominated by conservative religion and I accepted that. I choose to ostracize myself from that society in many ways; I stopped going to church and I grew long hair and I smoked and drank and swore and slept with wimmen. So I got to see how heathens are treated in Utah and it was pretty shocking. I stepped out of the mob and suddenly realized how horrifying the torches and pitchforks looked from an individual's perspective. It was really enlightening.

At the same time, I also knew the mindset of the majority. They weren't rabid haters; they were filled with love and desire to benefit their fellow man. As a body, they meant well and I knew it. And even more surprising was my gradual realization that the religion didn't sponsor the mobbery and hatred that some of them were displaying. It was the culture, formed upon people and their weaknesses and flaws. The religion itself was pretty much spot-on and would never promote judgment of others, hatred of others, or persecution of others. That all gets layered on afterward by the mob brain.

I lived as an outsider for years - not part of the conservatives despite retaining my conviction of that viewpoint's merits. Even though I hung with the rebels I didn't join them in scoffing at the ethics and morals of the conservatives. I tried to uphold those morals and ethics whenever I could manage it, even though living a very different lifestyle than what they promote.

Then I got married and I returned to the conservative mob. But I'd gained some invaluable experience that I firmly believe very few people acquire: a different perspective. I was in a place to play devil's advocate and call out the drawbacks in the mob's approach, as well as the benefits of the heathens' viewpoint. I got a lot of odd looks; nobody knows how to treat a spy who seems to agree with you but also suggests uncomfortable alternative viewpoints.

About 3 years ago I divorced, and allowed that to propel me out of the conservative mob once again. I moved in with good friends who embrace every possible nuance of the liberal mindset. It was awesome and I loved it! I learned so much, and I continue to learn constantly.

My current peer group is almost entirely comprised of extremely liberal folk. I love 'em. Some of them probably think I'm one of them, 'cause I have learned to be cautious in sharing my viewpoints before they're requested. Hence my Secret Spy standing: I hear people venting about the stupid conservative Republican Christians all the time. Since most casual peer groups tend to form around the same political axis, my peers are so used to being surrounded by nearly-identical perspectives that they naturally assume I mirror their beliefs, just like all thinking adults who aren't simply evil. I get to hear the most amazing bashing of my own belief system, frequently. It's pretty cool.

The part that bothers me is identical whether I'm listening to Mormons soliloquize about the evil corruption of closed-minded gay activists, or a queer friend earnestly ranting about the evil oppression by closed-minded Christians. Both mobs dehumanize the "enemy" and assign powerful negative traits to them: stupidity, closed-mindedness, greed, hatred, pride, arrogance, etc. All of these insults are hallmarks of casual but heated political discussions. But the amazing thing is that both mobs are so very similar in core values, and they're so very similar in the way that they mindlessly promote their own enlightened viewpoint while villifying the enemy's closed-minded brainwashing viciousness.

They do, of course, disagree powerfully about core issues. And those issues are extremely important and impactful. But instead of disagreeing respectfully, both mobs seem to find it mandatory to inject deception, assumption, insult, pride, and finally hatred. It's baffling, terrifying and humbling... 'cause even the Secret Spy gets caught up in it all.

I watched Obama foes present half-truths and misconceptions in order to villify McCain. I watched McCain foes do the exact same thing right back. Both sides in controversial issues always seem to be so very dedicated to their opinion that they'll do anything to convince others. It's amazing how almost every single person feels perfectly entitled to to shove their personal opinion down the throat of others, so long as their peers agree with them. There's an overwhelming mob acceptance that the ends justifies the means.

How can so much hate pour forth in the name of love? How can so much judgment take place in the name of accepting differences? How can people who are so powerfully similar see each other as diametrically opposed enemies? I carry deep love for so many people who try so hard to hate the mob comprised of other people that I also love. It's depressing and it fosters pessimism in me. And none of them really get that they're doing it; they listen to stuff like I'm writing here and they say, "Yeah, can you believe how closed-minded the Dems/Reps are for not adopting my viewpoint?"

There's so much effort, time and money spent on conflicting about things by people who agree on the most vitally important core issues. The waste is phenomenal. From Wikipedia: The campaigns for and against Proposition 8 raised $35.8 million and $37.6 million, respectively. Wow. That's a little over $70 million dollars that could've been spent on making our world a better place. Instead we poured it into advertising and campaigning. Only Obama and McCain have spent more than this in American political efforts. I firmly believe that we could resolve things without dumping money into public opinion... but public opinion is how it's done and so that's how we do it. After all, the enemy will win if we don't do it.

I'm reminded of "Take me to your lizard."

I don't really have a summary or a suggestion for improvement. It's really tough to learn to stop thinking as a mob. Especially when the rest of the mob assures you that only the enemy mob is doing things wrong. People can do the most amazingly terrible things as long as other people tell them it's okay.

On the bright side, once separated from the mob people often regain their own minds relatively quickly. But if lots of brainwashing has taken place, whether it's "gays are sinners" or "anti-gays are filled with hate", people can operate on the mob mentality even standing all on their own. At that point they tend to become mob leaders, in fact. *shudder*

I guess I'm venting. People in America, quit hating other Americans so fiercely! Yes, you, the person who's saying, "No doubt, everyone who disagrees with me, quit hating!" Try to seek solutions instead of dehumanizing the enemy. Seek to love and accept others instead of using "you don't love and accept others you fiend!" or "I don't like or understand what you choose!" as justification for hating those whom you accuse of not loving and accepting.

There. I've cussed out everyone, myself included. Now I can let this go and move past it. Whew.