White Album Christmas show

On Friday we gathered at the Bossanova to prepare for the first White Album Christmas show.


In many ways, this show is the most difficult that Kazum has ever done. The tricks are seriously tough. On the bright side, Piggies is only 2 minutes and Birthday is only 3 minutes. But the most challenging aspect is that we had 3 new people learning every single trick. It's not like we were just throwing in tricks we've mastered; Alex & Russ & Miranda are learning this stuff from the ground up. Plus both numbers are brand-new for all of us. So it's been a rough ride... but so worth it!


I'm not willing to claim that we put in a professional level performance. We were shaky on a few things, and while nothing dropped, we still weren't tight & polished. The night before the show we were still working desperately on the triple-base extension, and about 2 hours before showtime we finally replaced it with a walkup torch and a double-base extention. It was pretty scary. Even more scary was the conflict: Uli & I clashed several times, and Russ & Miranda had a bit of a tiff as well. Alex is the only one who hasn't bickered yet, but we'll get 'im. Oh, yes.


Uli & I had a lousy conflict right off the bat at 3:00 just as we arrived. I've processed it extensively elsewhere, and public venting isn't usually a good idea, so that's all that needs to be said about that.

The door-check process was abysmally slow. Venue staff insisted that there was no way to speed it up - the one person on duty had it totally handled, apparently, despite numerous complaints to the contrary. I personally think that they should've allocated 2 people to the door instead of 1. But one result of the entry delay is that curtain got pushed back 1/2 hour... which gave me enough time to get makeup done. Woohoo! Other things are often prioritized over Scott's makeup, and it's a sore spot for me as well as a big stressor. It was nice to actually be fully ready to perform a full 15 minutes before curtain.

The ambiance of the show is kind of a bright-paint-splashed-over-rusty-metal-and-threadbare-rags kind of dealio. We all have bright & colorful costumes & makeup, but it's all patchwork and thrown-together scraps of odds & ends. The stage is the same way. It really does a great job of conveying a professional troupe that's struggling hard to make ends meet. And having a single costumer really let the ambiance penetrate every act in the show.

We started about 10 minutes prior to curtain. All of the performers walked quietly out into the audience and lay down, often atop one another. We immediately began to doze as soon as we were set. The result was that it felt like the cast & crew were sleeping in the rafters & wings after the previous night's performance & revelry. We stayed down during the first number, and then began to stir to the beautiful & awakeningish strains of "Dear Prudence."

We stretched & yawned, quietly trading good morning greetings and cuffs, trudging along to the curtain leading backstage. Creature poured coffee for a select few, and we eventually trundled backstage by the end of the number.

This delightful audience-integration let us wander freely during the show. I got to watch Night Flight's amazing aerial hoop (the "lira" if I'm not mistaken) performance, from the balcony. In most shows it's totally inappropriate to peek out from backstage but in this show it's all part of the ambiance. I love that.

The AWOL dance collective and Night Flight were simply amazing. They're drop-dead gorgeous, of course, as well as nubile to the point of superheroinely, ridiculously scrumptious. Catwoman's got nothing on these ladies. These ladies are eyecandy that'll give wood to a blind man at 60 paces through thick fog. But that's not their primary attribute, which is a welcome change from many of the cabaret & burlesque shows I've seen. These girls are freakin' talented. Their synchronization is exquisite; better than most such routines I've seen. The difficulty level is amazing. And the showmanship (showomanship?) really adds that extra gasp to the visual orgasm that they invoke so artfully. And most importantly... they're classy. There's nothing sluttish about their demeanor, makeup, smiles, or routines. Any cute chick can evoke lust, but drawing forth desire is a whole new level of yum. The AWOL ladies and Night Flight girls are totally worth the price of admission all on their own.

Meanwhile, the NoWhere band was kicking out Beatles music that was simply astounding. I was particularly impressed by their lead guitarist and their drummer, as well as John Averill's vocal performance. I mean, the whole band kicked serious ass, but those three were somethin' else.

One of my favorite parts of the night was Gaelen. Not only did she help me wonderfully in getting through inter-Kazum conflict stress, but she was also a superb gopher for Kazum as well as for Noah. She ran a ton of errands in her car, she undertook various responsibilities and made sure they happened, and she kept hitting on me and making me feel all manly & awesome. It was a way, way better night for me (as well as for Kazum, IMO) because of her presence. Not to mention that she's great arm-candy. *preen* That's my girl.

Leapin' Louie did back-to-back numbers that fit his style really well. That guy's been entertaining since the West was One, and he never fails to deliver his thigh-slappin', low-falutin' brand of gawky humor. Behind the stage he's a really nice guy, and he was all excited that his wife & daughter were there for the show. He showed off his daughter's artwork where she'd drawn all kinds of showtime events on a table napkin. It was great stuff.

I didn't get to see much of Rhys Thomas' routine, but he's a ridiculously talented performer as well. I see him at various events around Portland. He's another dude who's been making a living as a performer for like 60 or 70 years. Well, maybe 30 or 40. Okay, 20 or so. But he'll still be doing his thang in 50 years if there's a planet left to perform on. I did see him warming up his tightrope-walking juggling routine - pure nuts, is Rhys. People often compliment me on my balance... like holding people up is a tremendously balancey thing to do. I am a stumbling buffoon compared to Rhys Thomas. That's not saying much; I'm a stumbling buffoon compared to a great many folk. I can, however, do backflips.

I got to see Cherry spin fire-poi for the first time, which was awesome. She's another great performer, and her costume was exquisite. She did a fire-spinning backward roll that blew me away. That girl knows what she's doing. I can't even imagine how many millions of times her poi have circled her. It's cool to watch people who can do physical stuff that's difficult and you can tell that it takes about as much concentration and effort as it does for us normal Joes to blink our eyes.

Creature and Noah, of course, reveled in their buffoonish and glib interplay that makes them so amazing when they share a stage. They're both excellent performers, and their styles are different enough yet enough alike that it's more than double the pleasure when they pair up. Added into the mix for the first time was Jasper Patterson, the youthful patriarch of the next generation of old-school Gypsie-blooded vaudeville performers. He comes from a tribe of folk that perform while they sleep because it's genetically melded into them. I had the delightful pleasure of lurking on the sidelines as the gypsy crew danced and sang and laughed around their fireside at the OCF. I felt quite the interloper, but that was cool because these people have a culture that baffles me because I'm just astute enough to catch a shimmering glimpse of its interwoven complexities. I can barely keep from insulting my best friends out of social retardation, so the Stage Left vaudevillians evoke a level of nervousness in me that makes it hard to pee. This effect in no way diminishes my admiration for their talents and the warmth that they extend to Kazum (and thereby, to shy little ol' me).

I got to bear Jasper's weight - twice, in fact. In his triumphant emergence as a talented performer, he claims 3 juggling knives and I "tackle" him into a shoulder-sit. There he holds his flashing steel to my throat and forces me to lift him to a shoulder-stand (I wanted an extension but Noah & Jasper wisely overrode my puppyish exuberance). There he juggles the knives while I try to pretend I'm pretending about being nervous. The night before the show I had a dream wherein a falling knife severed my ear and I had to try to convince the audience that it was fake blood while getting offstage without passing out. I'm not actually worried about it despite Alex Cougarbait Mancandy Boytoy going on at length what it would sound like to have a juggling knife embedded in the top of my skull.

I also get to lift Jasper in a fireman's carry while extracting him from a birthday cake after Kazum's "Birthday" performance.

There was a really amazing hoop routine by Revolva - another case where the ridiculously impossible is made to look like a casual stroll. This girl did some of the most amazing hooping I've ever had the pleasure of ogling. Amazingly talented, and bone-growingly scrumptious as well.

Naia helped with makeup and costumes. She also did a great job of validating my concern re: makeup, and soothing my stress. I love Naia, though I suspect she has to fight hard to not view me with the same disgust that her peers do. I appreciate her putting up that fight. She's always been very awesome to me, at least to my face. I doubt she does much sticking up for me behind my back, but I also have high hopes that she doesn't do much actual slandering back there, either. She's someone I earnestly enjoy seeing whenever I see her.

Mahon (May-Honn) helped tremendously with costumes. She's probably the most visually striking person I've ever seen before. She takes "red" to a whole new level - her dreads, her sweater, her makeup, her clothing. She's a little intimidating, actually, until she speaks and then she just melts hearts. Alex and I both agreed that of all the beautiful ladies in attendance, Mahon probably led the list of "chicks to be infatuated with". If Miranda doesn't agree then I'd risk thinking about accusing her of not really being gay (though I'd never say such a thing 'cause I value my jewels). I dunno about Russ... dude baffles me when it comes to women. The only woman I know from his life is the one lady he hasn't bedded (Susan, his really cool dance partner). I gotta party with Russ and see how he does his thing.

Melody is the lead costumer. Her primary trait for me is that she's the mom of the most adorable little critter I've seen since Nathan started talking. His name is Noah and he's a kid whose coolness defies description. Both Melody and her hubby ("J" as in "Jeremy") are entranced, but J is often non-distracted enough to be utterly and visibly wrapped around his kid's chubby little finger. That trait right there buys a father a lot of real estate in the landscape of my heart. But Melody's more than a mama, oh goodness yes. She's waded through fiendish quantities of time to produce a wardrobe for the show that holds to the amazing theme that really breathes life into the whole production. She's measured us each 30 or 40 times, and her poor fingers are usually numb from various feats of sewmanship. It's gotta be a real trip for her to see all of her amazing costumes dancing about doing their thing onstage.

There was one disappointing part in Friday's show... poor luck resulted in the band stepping on Noah's trademark "Laaaaaaaaaaadies and Gentlemen!" intro. I love that intro; it kicks both crowd and performers into Excitement Mode.

The Bellini Twins performed, but I didn't catch their show, to my chagrin. I've seen them before and they're amazing - a brand of humor that's tough to pull off well. Plus they're incredibly athletic. I saw them at the Clowns Without Borders show early in the summer of 2008, and I absolutely loved their stuff.

Okay, on to Kazum's numbers. :) I think I'll sign out of this entry and write a separate blog about each number. Not 'cause I think that many people will much care about the ins & outs of a Kazum number, but because that way I can isolate & read about it later on. I have one subscribed reader (Alex, maybe?) but a lack of commentary reassures me that my primary audience is, as usual, myself. And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.